8:05 am

Early morning auditions are treacherous. I swear, they only have them this early in the morning to weed out the lazy or the weak of heart... or the people that actually need more than a couple of hours a sleep a night. I mean, I hate to sound pretentious and proud but... we actors are like modern day Gladiators. Right? Same thing? No?

However, these early morning time slots do allow us to understand how the other half lives! Since auditions are usually held in Midtown, we too can push through morning rush hour clutching our $4 lattes, dressed in our pressed pencil skirts, forcing our way into crowded intersections, "Excuse me! I have somewhere very important to be! Hey lady, you may be making a living for your children back in New Milford, Conn... but take a look at my flawless, stress-free figure!" Right? Am I right here?

8:05 am, arrive at fancy office building and check in with fancy doorman. 9:05 am, arrive back on 8th avenue smack down in front of Burger King. Dejected, rejected, and still jobless.

(Pause)

Thank God I accomplished another audition. Maybe he'll give me a call. I have to get in a nap before lunch. It's been a long day already... and I still have my GD laundry to do.